A toast you don’t hear much anymore

It goes something like this: Here’s to cops. The beat cops: uniforms, flatfoots, the rookies and the vets. The men in blue – and the women – who get called everything your mother told you not to say, back when you were a kid and remembered what it was like to respect other people. The … [more]

Old Ideas

This is an unconventional re-run, not a piece I wrote a while back and recently disinterred, but a speech prepared hastily (was there any other way?) nearly 25 years ago by a callow undergraduate looking for answers. Half a lifetime later, I’m a little embarrassed to put it up here — the confident righteousness of … [more]

ROK ‘n’ roll

Once upon a time back in the misty past of the early 1980s, a geeky 19-y.o. pushed BCGs up his nose, hoisted a green duffel over his green polyester leisure suit with its one lonely ribbon, and got onto Flight 007 to head for the Republic of Korea via Japan. We didn’t yet know how … [more]

A terse reminder

Dear fellow American, I’d like to pass along this brief reminder, for purposes of clarification. Despite what others may say, you’re not part of the problem if you: believe your President heralds the coming of the Antichrist call your military servicemembers “sadists” and “mass murderers” insist on social control of vaginas, but are afraid to … [more]

Pick It Up

You, I got a problem with.

You’re the guy who believes the One Percent are more important than the 99 Percent, not because you think they’re terrific people but because you just insist on having a relentless, secret antagonist to justify your failures by their oppressions. You’re the political lesbian who wants more to blame men than to love women. You’re the people who run around waving your hooves, bleating “Sheeple! Sheeple!” at everyone else, instead of actually DOING anything about the problems you vaguely perceive but are unwilling to define, let alone work to remedy.

Cruisin’ Rock City

Fun with mathematics! Here’s a story problem. It’s not as hard as it sounds. You can buy a functional family home in Detroit for about $20,000. You could buy an abandoned one for mere hundreds. Go ahead and Google it; there are tons of ’em on the market right now. In many cases, they’re owned … [more]

Eight tickets to Hell in a handbasket

Just to rub a clear spot in the nacre, let me put it out there: I loathe public transportation in all its forms (except the ferry, and even then I go stand out in the wind, alone). Strangers are untrustworthy, but I can relate to them on a few-at-a-time basis. Crowds, on the other hand, … [more]

Open Email to the Christian Coalition of America

ON 17April13, I received the following communication from the Christian Coalition of America: Dear Friend, Believe it or not, materials in an official US Army Reserve training program listed evangelical Christians as “extremists”. It even lumped us into the same category as the KKK, Hamas and Al Qaeda. Yes, really. After receiving numerous complaints from … [more]