Gun Guys

I’m not really a gun guy. If you’re in my garage and I smile kinda crooked at you and ask if you want to see my “gun collection,” that most likely means I’m about to pull out the bottom drawer of my rollaway and gesture vaguely at the bladed beauties inside. My big honeys lurk … [more]

Dear Snotty Kid…

I didn’t ask whether you opened the door. I told you to close it. I don’t care if they’re your favorite pants. I care whether they cover your butt. That’s what pants are for, actually. It doesn’t matter if your homework is stupid. It matters that you do it. If you’re not hungry enough to … [more]

Real Americans

Real Americans don’t beat each other down. We help each other up. If someone else needs a beatdown, real Americans stand ready to administer it — and then offer the same hand up that we offer each other. Real Americans don’t break up American companies for a living and call ourselves “job creators.” We found … [more]

“G-D Was Busy”

Here’s a parable that confuses me a bit. You can find it all over the place, not just on Christian web sites and socially conservative blogs but sprinkled around Facebook and MySpace and really, wherever glib ideations go to spawn. It goes like this: A United States Marine was attending some college courses between assignments.  … [more]

Photo contest!

Get your camera.  Stuff a big, BIG memory card into it, and move out smartly. Your charge is to document American life as we live it today. With the demise of LIFE magazine, no one’s really making a good job of this on a regular basis and I’m a lousy photographer. It thus falls to … [more]

On the day of the Dear Leader’s departure

In the picture, you can’t tell he’s dead. If any picture says a thousand words, 900 of them turn to lies as the facts change. We might have toasted him back then, the chubby scion of the Great Leader. From across the DMZ from Radar Site 7 on Soi San Mountain, through the cavalry’s ship-to-shore … [more]

Like Mohammed, I had a dream (mine was shorter)

The Revelation which God gave, to shew unto his servants things which must shortly come to pass; and he sent and signified it by his angel unto his servant Jack: Who bare record of the word of God, and of the testimony of the LORD, and of all things that he saw. Blessed is he … [more]

Tea Toddler (a recipe)

A recipe for overcoming your seasonal affective disorderly phlegmatism with winter warmth, far more efficacious than the poisonous blear of Nyquil et al: Boil water. If it works for childbirth, it damn well ought to work for the common cold. Drop in a clutch of teabags and let it steep while you assemble the active … [more]