Cool story, bro

Poseur Kit
Image stolen from a Pinterest poseur boy.

Well, sure, it got pretty intense that time, but I wasn’t scared. With Brian Williams at the controls of our chopper, what could possibly go wrong?

Showing complete disregard for his personal safety, Reporter’s Mate First Class Williams hovered the bird over our enemies in the face of withering fire. We were hit once in the transmission, then again with an RPG that blew the tail rotor clean off. Cubing his already squared jaw, Williams caught the third rocket grenade in his perfectly polished teeth, pinching off the fuse as he held the rapidly disintegrating craft rock-steady until Secretary Hillary Clinton — dressed only in a camouflage bikini — could fast-rope into the thick of the action, taking out two dozen local insurgents and a Serbian sniper using nothing but her Top Secret valise and a lipstick case.

<> on February 26, 2014 in Miami, Florida.
Image stolen from Ted Turner’s personal porn stash.

“Yee-HAW!,” yelled the SEAL perched on the jump seat next to me, combing dip out of his beard and licking it off his fingers.

“This is WAY more fun than varmint-shooting American civilians off the Superdome!”


  1. Hi,

    Not sure what this means “Cubing his already squared jaw,” cubing?



  2. YES! YES! YES!
    Wait, why isn’t this in the news?

  3. “Wow! So what happened next?”

    “Why, we crashed, of course, and we were all killed! But it was glorious!”

  4. Crunch Crenshaw says

    I was about to eat my lunch and then I read “Secretary Hillary Clinton — dressed only in a camouflage bikini” and my appetite just disappeared. This is the work of a true wordsmith!

  5. When I read Jack’s offering I was wondering what he had gotten into. I found the post nonsensical.

    I went on to read my morning paper. It was while doing so the Mrs. asked me if -I’d- a screw loose. I was laughing and even slapped my thigh.

    I’ come across an article about the ethics of a certain newscaster…

    Good one, Jack!

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